As I grow older, I find myself paying attention to different things.

Less to performance. More to presence.

Less to what intimacy should look like. More to what it actually feels like.

Together with the sound healer Sophia, I have been exploring touch, presence, voice and sound. Her glass bowls create tones that are not only heard, but felt.

What surprises me is how directly the body responds.

Sometimes my stomach tightens or shakes, as if something is slowly letting go. Not unpleasant. Just clear.

And I notice that something stays with me long after the session is over.

There is a kind of closeness in it that is hard to label.

Not exactly sexual.

But not neutral either.

Perhaps it is simply what happens when someone is deeply present.

Whatever it is, I bring it home.

Into my relationship.

There are more nuances now. Less focus on how closeness should look, more curiosity about what is actually there.

Touch takes more space.

Presence takes more time.

I discover that intimacy can be expressed in many ways – not only through what we usually call sex.

As I grow older, this feels increasingly important.

The body changes.

What once seemed obvious may not always be available in the same way.

It is not a catastrophe.

It is simply true.

But perhaps closeness does not have to diminish because of that.

Maybe it can deepen.

Maybe there is a movement from performance to presence, from doing to feeling.

And maybe that is one of the gifts of aging:

to come a little closer.

To ourselves –

and to each other.

The shape changes. The life remains.